mental health
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“That cold feeling came back”
Sometimes one moment is enough to bring everything back—the doubt, the fear, the feeling of being behind. Continue reading
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“I’ve done everything… and I still feel like a failure”
You can change your life on paper… and still feel like the same person inside. Continue reading
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“I stopped today… and it felt strange”
Follow me on IG: @punisherpapi 📓 Sunday, March 29, 2026 — 3:56 p.m. I’m sitting in my van in front of a Target, under the shade. Not moving. Not rushing. That’s not normal for me. I’m tired. My eyes feel warm. Sleep’s been off this week. Sometimes it feels like the thoughts hit me in my… Continue reading
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“Better. Not Perfect.”
Follow me on X: @punisherpapi · IG: https://www.instagram.com/punisherpapi?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr 📓 Sunday, March 1, 2026 — 7:11 p.m. Forgetting how you used to be. But never disrespect yourself for that version you once thought was “bad.” It was just a version learning in the dark. 2019. CSULB. Sitting in the waiting room for my first session with the school psychologist.… Continue reading
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“What My Cat Taught Me About Self-Judgment”
Follow me on X: @punisherpapi · IG: @punisherpapi 📓 Wednesday, February 25, 2026 — 10:01 p.m.Failure has haunted me. It’s been the answer to a question I never asked. Today I took my cat to the veterinarian. He has dealt with feline herpes, and I made the decision to take him off his medication. He seemed fine to… Continue reading
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“A Friend That Purrs.”
Simba is purring on my lap, kneading the blanket like it’s his job. Silence in the room. It makes me smile—an inner one. Through past depressions, he was there. Sometimes your friend ends up being an orange cat. Continue reading
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“My Brain Said “Nothing Changed.” The List Said Otherwise.”
My brain said “nothing changed.” So I made a list—and the receipts proved otherwise. Continue reading
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“Offloading Into the Cloud”
Today I hit the wall again—so I offloaded the loop into the cloud: writing, a movie, and a small moment of relief before sleep. Continue reading
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“Rocky Didn’t Say It Didn’t Hurt — He Just Kept Going”
Belief didn’t come first—action did. A Rocky scene, a hard truth, and the reps that taught me to keep moving forward. Continue reading
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“Triple 9s”
Depression can feel like a vice grip, but it lies. This is a reminder: you are your actions—rooting for my sister and for myself. Continue reading