reflection
-
“I’ve gotten used to wanting to force everything”
I spent years trying to force everything—success, healing, art, meaning. Now I’m beginning to wonder if flow is something you stop interrupting. Continue reading
-
“It’s not the accident. It’s the waiting.”
Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the event itself. It’s the waiting, the stress, and the feeling that life keeps calling before you’ve had a chance to rest. Continue reading
-
“The sketches aren’t finished. Neither am I.”
I sat down with my reMarkable Pro and started writing by hand again. The sketches weren’t finished—and honestly, neither am I. Continue reading
-
“I was surviving, not living”
📓 Thursday, May 14, 2026 — 7:25 p.m. 💬 Question What’s a moment where you realized you were surviving… but not really living? ⸻ I am sitting in my dimly lit studio. Only the standing light to my right on. Set to 20%. ⸻ Alien videos on YouTube. Si No Te Hubieras Ido by Maná… Continue reading
-
“I never realized I didn’t know how to love myself”
📓 Thursday, May 14, 2026 — 5:37 p.m. 💬 Question What’s a moment where you realized someone loved you… but didn’t really know how to show it correctly? ⸻ I’ve tried in the past to write in a way that sounded entertaining enough to read. Because I never saw myself as a “real writer.” ⸻… Continue reading
-
“I think I’m starting to love my life”
📓 Thursday, May 14, 2026 — 4:51 p.m. 💬 Question What’s something about yourself that you used to hate… but now you’re starting to understand differently? Today, I decided to deal with depression differently. Stay home. Write. ⸻ As a kid, I never remember thinking: “I hate this about myself.” “I hate that about myself.”… Continue reading
-
“One day I won’t see the sky anymore”
📓 May 16, 2026 — 7:54 a.m. Saturday morning. I should be leaving soon to go sell plastic and paper bags. The daily grind. Simba’s at the window. Coffee brewing. And I keep thinking about something that happened yesterday. I was sitting in my van parked outside. Eating Pollo Loco. And everything felt… normal. Blue… Continue reading
-
“I thought this movie would suck”
📓 May 15, 2026 — 9:20 a.m. Went for a long-ass drive last night. Got home around 3 in the morning. Sometimes when I’m stressed… I just drive. Simba’s in the window passed out. Vacuum in front of me. Jeremy Corbell on YouTube talking about aliens. Movie I expected to hate but ended up loving?… Continue reading
-
“I think I’m finally starting to respect myself”
I thought procrastination meant laziness. Now I think it was exhaustion, discouragement, and feeling like nothing I did was ever enough. Continue reading
-
“You probably build your way out”
📓 May 13, 2026 — 9:05 a.m. Head resting back in the chair. Eyes closed. Tired. Simba threw up around 1:30 in the morning. I ended up driving around late at night. Went to Starbucks. Came home around 4:30 a.m. Just trying to relieve stress. I guess everybody has their way of doing that. That was… Continue reading