📓 May 19, 2026 — 6:03 p.m.
I’m in the front house restroom.
The rest-room.
I guess that’s the joke.
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Earlier I was in the recliner with my eyes closed trying to reset my brain.
Then the phone hit me:
“You have a delivery.”
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Earlier today I dropped off a Fight Club 4K steelbook at Whole Foods.
That’s the Amazon return spot.
The case spine was falling apart the moment I took off the plastic wrapping.
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I did a few deliveries after that.
Now I’m back home about to eat.
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My mom is in her yellow Boss Lady shirt serving me beans.
Guacamole in front of me.
I can smell the onion inside it.
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And in the background of all of it…
I feel nervous.
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My van got hit while it was parked a couple of weeks ago.
It’s going to get fixed, but it’s still a pain.
The bureaucracy.
Witnesses.
Cameras.
Me not even being in the car.
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It’s not the accident that messes with you.
It’s the waiting.
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My body did that thing where it goes numb from sitting too long.
Legs tingling.
Like my nervous system saying:
“Not yet.”
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So here I am.
On the toilet.
Phone buzzing.
Trying to choose between the part of me that wants to rest…
and the part of me that always answers.
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I want to say no.
I want to do what I want to do.
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💬 Reader question
What’s your version of “not yet” — the moment your body says it before your mouth does?
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If this felt real… I write small real moments like this.
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