What have you been carrying for so long that it feels normal now?
June 17, 2026 — 7:14 p.m.
I have written to help myself.
For a long time, I would obsessively listen to motivational videos of any kind. I wanted to borrow the drive that wouldn’t dim.
My inner light felt like it was dimming more and more every day.
One AirPod in one ear, then rotate to the other while this one would recharge.
This would be the entire day — every day.
No inner voice that had been helpful.
Maybe I can drown it out.
Also, external voices that I drove with daily.
Father constant.
“Slow ass driver.”
“Dumb ass president.”
“Listen to me.”
“You need to succeed eventually.”
“You might be too old.”
“Be realistic.”
Blah blah.
Take the headphones off!
Deliveries of plastic bags need to be done — get the money.
I would do the deliveries, go to class at night at community college, get home, do homework, then wake every hour due to an unresolved life.
I would wander into the restroom every so often just to cry.
Pathetic.
It could be interpreted that way.
But I needed to release.
Let the water cool down to wash my hands of the dirt without burning.
I relearned to release.
The daily voices would say:
“Change your perspective, change your life.”
“Look at your life as if it were a movie, and now what do you want it to be?”
“Believe in yourself, damn it. No one else will do it for you.”
At points, they sounded more like questions I couldn’t answer.
An oddity has happened.
I learned that “everything wrong with me” needs to be answered with encouragement that it’s okay to be okay.
Enjoy your life to the best of your ability.
💬 Reader Question
What have you been carrying for so long that it started to feel normal?
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