Question: What have I been “in the room for” but not truly present in… and what would it look like to sit up, stay awake, and finally see it through?
📓 Monday, January 19, 2026 —3:46 p.m.
Today I picked up merchandise with our Ethiopian guys, Jeremías and Adonis. They’re good people. At a certain point it stops feeling like business and starts feeling like family. They find what we need fast, sometimes they even bring it to the house, and sometimes they bless us with a discount that saves us real money. And on our side, we keep moving volume, keep paying the costs, keep the relationship alive. It’s not one-sided. It’s both sides. One needs the other.
I’ve been thinking about how, when you’re young, you might respect people without fully realizing how much you depend on them. But the older I get, the more obvious it becomes: life is built out of favors, information, timing, and people showing up. Sometimes it’s a doctor. Sometimes it’s a lawyer. Sometimes it’s a teacher who stays after class during office hours because you needed an extra ten minutes of explanation. Sometimes it’s a warehouse owner who treats you like a human, not just an order.
And sometimes it’s just a quick “what’s up” in a parking lot that reminds you: you are not walking alone.
I’m going to eat in a minute (El Pollo Loco), knock out my two prompts, come home, unload, and then I’m going to the theater to finally watch The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
And here’s the part that feels crazy to admit at 44: I’ve never actually seen the second and third films all the way through.
I saw the first one in theaters twice. Loved it. Saw it on Blu-ray, saw it on 4K, and it still holds up. But when The Two Towers came out during its original run, I went to the theater and passed out. Then I went to the third one without finishing the second, and I passed out again. I only woke up when the guy was getting the crown, and I remember thinking, “What the fuck did I miss?”
I don’t say that to be funny. I say it because it’s real: sometimes you’re present in the room, but not present in your life. Sometimes your body is there, but your attention is gone. Exhaustion doesn’t ask permission.
So tonight is a reset.
Tonight I’m not letting the movie slip past me. I’m not letting the story turn into a blur. I’m going to sit there and let the scale of it hit. The sound, the faces, the silence between choices. I want to understand why people love it the way they do. I want to earn the right to love it, not just inherit the opinion because “everybody loves it.”
And if I do love it, that’s not just a “movie win.” It’s a small personal win: a moment where I finish something I started a long time ago.
Wednesday I’m going to watch the third film in the theater. I’ll do it in order this time. I’ll do it like I mean it.
Because that’s what growing up looks like sometimes: not becoming perfect, but becoming present. Not becoming loud, but becoming consistent. Not doing everything, but finishing what you touch.
I’ll come back tonight and write what I felt.
Reader question: What’s something you’ve been “in the room for” but not truly present in — and what would it look like to finally see it through?
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