📓 May 17, 2026 — 7:17 a.m.
Coffee brewing.
Bought new beans because I ran out.
Sprouts Market.
Sitting in my chair with my laptop on my lap.
Yesterday I started using my Kindle again.
I bought the Paperwhite Signature a while back, used it for a little bit, then stopped.
So yesterday I decided:
Read 20 minutes a day.
I ended up reading for almost an hour.
Which surprised me.
I started reading The Empire of AI by Karen Hao.
And honestly…
it felt good getting away from the television for a while.
Reading.
Writing notes.
Maybe sketching while I read.
I feel like I’m actually gonna learn some shit.
Anyway…
fear and self-doubt.
That’s been part of my recipe as a human being since my teenage years.
Before that?
Life was simple.
Play with friends.
Draw.
Have fun.
Then somewhere along the way…
fear entered.
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’re behind.”
“You suck.”
And honestly?
For a long time…
I didn’t handle fear.
Fear handled me.
Now?
I think I see it differently.
I don’t think fear ever fully leaves.
So instead of trying to destroy it…
I’m learning how to live with it.
Like I’m married to it.
I observe it.
Ask questions.
Why am I afraid?
What exactly am I doubting?
And then I try to answer the question with action.
Not endless thinking.
Because rumination feeds fear.
It gives it a bigger story.
So now I try to do something simpler.
Open the window.
Let sunlight hit the fear through action.
And weirdly…
that helps.
💬 Reader question
Do you think fear gets smaller through thinking… or through action?
Subscribe
If this felt real… I write moments like this.
Leave a Reply