Echoes of the Garage

Fragments of life in Los Angeles — art, film, street stories, and the quiet rebuilding of a man. Start here: Best Of • About • Subscribe.


“I Was Only a “Fuck Up” Because I Believed It”

Daily writing prompt
What colleges have you attended?

I’ve attended a few colleges… but it wasn’t a straight line.

After high school, I didn’t really graduate the normal way. I had a year of making up classes—seven Fs. Not even real night school. It was basically a building where you go to make up credits so you can get the diploma. LOL.

After that I went to Pasadena City College. I’d walk into class, get bored, and walk out. Walk in, walk out. I made a friend who was a girl—her brother worked for Lowrider Magazine. We talked and hung out, but I lost touch. I think she liked me. She even said something like that. But I wasn’t really in that world yet. I was young and dumb.

I failed Spanish… and I’m Mexican. I speak Spanish at home all the time. Still got an F. I kept stacking Fs.

Eventually I got put on probation at Pasadena. I worked for a bit, then tried to go back—and they told me, nah, you’re not getting financial aid. No FAFSA money. You have to pay out of pocket now.

So I said, fuck that.

I found a loophole and went to Santa Monica College thinking it would be better. It wasn’t better. I did great in my art classes, but everything else was Fs and Ds. Any time I had to read, write, do reports, study—it was like… nah. Eventually I got probation there too.

And I’m not gonna lie: I’ve always called myself a fuck up. But the journey taught me something: I was only that because I believed it. I don’t believe it now — so I’m not that.

For a while I really thought: school might not be for me.

Then later I found myself back in school as an older dude at Cerritos College, and that’s where I tried my ass off. I forced myself. I started proving I could actually stay consistent.

From there, I eventually got into Cal State Long Beach.

But it took a fuck load of Fs to get there. Another seven Fs I had to make up, plus taking a bunch of classes just to show I could maintain a high GPA.

So yeah… it’s been a fucking journey.

Question: What’s something you used to believe about yourself that you don’t believe anymore?

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