I felt loved when I was a little kid.
I grew up asthmatic. When I was barely born, my parents were told I might not make it. Go pray, go to church, do whatever. Baptize him—whatever you gotta do. A small percentage that he survives life.
So my mom and dad did what they could… and I survived.
Life has been ups and downs like everybody’s, but there’s one person I associate with love in a way that still tears me up to this day:
My grandmother Consuelo — my mom’s mother.
This was the ’80s. She lived in Mexico City and only came out here once in a while. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so when she visited she usually stayed with my aunt (my mom’s oldest sister). They paid for her to come, so they got most of the time with her.
I didn’t see her a lot.
But the little time I had with her was enough to leave a permanent imprint. If I add up the time I spent with her, it probably doesn’t even equal 24 hours. And yet… I still feel it.
When I would call her, I’d ask, “Who’s your favorite grandkid?” and she’d always tell me, “It’s you.”
I don’t hear her voice in my head anymore because I was so young… but I feel her presence. I remember the way she made me feel: wanted. chosen. safe.
One of my biggest memories is the day she came over to our apartment for a few hours. We watched Rocky—I remember it being Rocky 4—and we laid in bed and laughed. And what touched me was that she was willing to do what I wanted to do. She didn’t force me into something else. She met me where I was.
Whenever we spoke, even on the phone, it was love: “I love you. You’re my favorite.” Over and over.
When I was nine, she was going to have surgery because she had heart problems. My mom flew to Mexico with her sisters. I couldn’t go because of school, and I remember being upset about that.
Before the surgery my grandmother asked for me. She said, “Where is Roberto?”
My mom said I couldn’t come because of school.
And my grandmother said, “Okay. When I wake up, I want to see him.”
She didn’t wake up.
She passed away during the surgery—complications with high blood pressure and everything else. I still remember the news. My dad called me from the window and said he had something to tell me. Then he said, “Your grandmother just passed away.”
I cried in the driveway by myself.
To this day, I miss her. When I’m not thinking about her, I’m okay. But when I do think about her, it hits me and I start tearing up.
I guess that’s the imprint she left on me.
Question: Who’s one person who made you feel truly loved when you were young?
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